Depression and Anxiety 3-17-13

I never know where to start with my posts each day. Guess I will just post what comes to mind and if it gets too long, I’ll just stop for the day.

Slept in for a bit this morning. I’m working on getting my days and nights turned back around to the right way. Still found myself needing a nap around noon, so I took one.

Got the energy up to get my shower taken late afternoon so we could go to my stepson’s for supper. Don’t know if I had some underlying anxiety going on, or if it was just the exertion of taking a shower, but when I got done my hands were pretty shaky and I felt a bit weak so I ended up taking 1/4 of a Xanax. That small of a dose takes the edge off but doesn’t make me sleepy. I really didn’t feel bad otherwise.

We ended up not going over for supper. My stepson called shortly after I got done with my shower and told us he was pretty sick so they had to cancel the dinner. I told him we understood, no problem. If you are sick you are sick.

There I was, all clean and dressed in real clothes (doesn’t happen for me every day), and nowhere to go. I had myself all primed up to leave the house which I hadn’t done for over a month. I was determined I was going to do SOMETHING.

I couldn’t waste the desire to get out of the house. It’s been so rare lately. So I asked my husband if he would go to the grocery store with me. He knew that was a biggy request for me so he said sure, let’s go. Anything else you want to go do?

I’m still having off and on dizziness so I wanted him with me just in case I didn’t feel comfortable driving. I did just fine though. We stopped to put gas in my car and then went to the grocery store. Both places are just a few blocks from home and I’m really comfortable driving it, so it seemed like a good idea to start out close to home.

Once I am FINALLY out of the house, I’m pretty much ok. It’s just the going out part that is so hard. I don’t know what makes me so anxious about going out. Also, once I’m out I’m better if I go with someone, hence another reason to have hubby go with me.

It had been so long since I went to the grocery store that I ended up going up and down just about every aisle. Hubby has been wonderful about doing the grocery shopping, long as I make a list for him. I really needed new batteries for my blood glucose meter so that was a big reason I wanted to go myself. It was great just to be there and see things I knew I needed or wanted and never remembered to put on the grocery list.

The new meds must already be doing some good for me, even after only 2 days, because this was the first time in a long long time that I actually wanted to go somewhere, anywhere. Let’s hope this trend continues!

Don’t get me wrong, the anxiety still comes and goes, but that’s what the Xanax is for. And it really does help me. The Effexor seems to be giving me a bit more motivation every day. Plus I have other health issues, mainly diabetes and emphysema, which I’m sure contributes to the depression and anxiety.

All in all it wasn’t a bad day, and was better than many days have been lately.

Signing off for the night. Take care of yourself, and keep up the fight!