Check In 3-20-13

Today was better than yesterday. I’m still wanting to sleep a lot. Wasted a good part of this morning and some of this afternoon. Guess my body and brain are still adjusting. But I did get ambitious this afternoon and evening. Got the dishes done, swept all the floors, got the garbage and litter boxes ready to go out since tomorrow is garbage day. Went out and got the mail. Even got some more crocheting done. Almost finished with an off white and lavender baby blanket. Just need to finish the shell edging. If I get it done soon I will post a picture. Thinking about making a matching hat to go with it.

Until tomorrow!

Check In 3-18-13

Another day where I’m feeling pretty good. Got up early but ended up needing a nap. All of a sudden about 11:00 a.m. I could barely keep my eyes open, so off to bed I went. So I pissed away my afternoon sleeping. I suppose my body is still adjusting to the Effexor since it’s only been 3 days that I’ve been on it.

I must say I’m not feeling the “fogginess” that I experienced with Paxil. Also when I was taking the Paxil, after the first hour or so, I would get a feeling like I had a tight hat band around my head. Don’t quite know how else to describe that feeling. It was pretty weird, and I always got it, every day. It lasted for a few hours too. Just a weird side effect that I sure didn't like.

My energy level has certainly gone up. My motivation isn't what I would like it to be yet, still hard to get motivated, but at least I am WANTING to do stuff. That’s a big improvement for me.

I’ve been crocheting up a storm, which is something I’ve always enjoyed doing anyway, but I seem to enjoy it even more now, which I didn’t think was possible.

Wanted to go do something today, just to get out of the house, but it’s really stinking cold today. Went out to get the mail and about got blown away. The wind is really bad which makes it feel a lot colder than it actually is. My hands and feet get cold easy because of my peripheral neuropathy and my circulation isn’t what it should be, so I have to be a bit careful about going out when it’s cold.

Just a short post for today.

Depression and Anxiety 3-17-13

I never know where to start with my posts each day. Guess I will just post what comes to mind and if it gets too long, I’ll just stop for the day.

Slept in for a bit this morning. I’m working on getting my days and nights turned back around to the right way. Still found myself needing a nap around noon, so I took one.

Got the energy up to get my shower taken late afternoon so we could go to my stepson’s for supper. Don’t know if I had some underlying anxiety going on, or if it was just the exertion of taking a shower, but when I got done my hands were pretty shaky and I felt a bit weak so I ended up taking 1/4 of a Xanax. That small of a dose takes the edge off but doesn’t make me sleepy. I really didn’t feel bad otherwise.

We ended up not going over for supper. My stepson called shortly after I got done with my shower and told us he was pretty sick so they had to cancel the dinner. I told him we understood, no problem. If you are sick you are sick.

There I was, all clean and dressed in real clothes (doesn’t happen for me every day), and nowhere to go. I had myself all primed up to leave the house which I hadn’t done for over a month. I was determined I was going to do SOMETHING.

I couldn’t waste the desire to get out of the house. It’s been so rare lately. So I asked my husband if he would go to the grocery store with me. He knew that was a biggy request for me so he said sure, let’s go. Anything else you want to go do?

I’m still having off and on dizziness so I wanted him with me just in case I didn’t feel comfortable driving. I did just fine though. We stopped to put gas in my car and then went to the grocery store. Both places are just a few blocks from home and I’m really comfortable driving it, so it seemed like a good idea to start out close to home.

Once I am FINALLY out of the house, I’m pretty much ok. It’s just the going out part that is so hard. I don’t know what makes me so anxious about going out. Also, once I’m out I’m better if I go with someone, hence another reason to have hubby go with me.

It had been so long since I went to the grocery store that I ended up going up and down just about every aisle. Hubby has been wonderful about doing the grocery shopping, long as I make a list for him. I really needed new batteries for my blood glucose meter so that was a big reason I wanted to go myself. It was great just to be there and see things I knew I needed or wanted and never remembered to put on the grocery list.

The new meds must already be doing some good for me, even after only 2 days, because this was the first time in a long long time that I actually wanted to go somewhere, anywhere. Let’s hope this trend continues!

Don’t get me wrong, the anxiety still comes and goes, but that’s what the Xanax is for. And it really does help me. The Effexor seems to be giving me a bit more motivation every day. Plus I have other health issues, mainly diabetes and emphysema, which I’m sure contributes to the depression and anxiety.

All in all it wasn’t a bad day, and was better than many days have been lately.

Signing off for the night. Take care of yourself, and keep up the fight!

Depression and Anxiety 3-16-13

The first day of meds wasn't too bad. I didn't know what to expect for side effects, which was the part scaring me the most.
I am experiencing dizziness off and on, but I had that with the Paxil. It doesn't seem as bad with the Effexor.
I also have had some shakiness but it just seems to come and go.
I've been lucky in not really getting any nausea, but am taking the advice people have given me to make sure to eat something when I take the med.
I can say that I don't feel so much like I'm in a fog with the Effexor. I seem better able to concentrate and feel more alert. I do seem to have more energy when I am awake, but still find myself wanting to take naps. Hopefully that will pass as more of the drug builds up in my system.
We are going to my stepson's and his lady's home tomorrow to enjoy corned beef and cabbage with them and I'm actually looking forward to it. Haven't really been out of the house for over a month. I always enjoy going to their home and feel very comfortable there so it should be a good "first excursion" for me on the  new medication.
I am finding my appetite seems to be returning. Seems like all I want to do is graze :) But that's ok because I need to put some weight back on.
Will stop for tonight but wanted to check in with you all to let you know how things are going 

Addressing Depression And Anxiety 3-13-13

Not even really sure where to begin, so I guess I will just start.

For quite some time now, I have been dealing with depression, anxiety and social phobia. My daughter suggested maybe I should blog about my feelings and experiences as it might help me and help others going through some of the same things.

I don’t usually broadcast to others about my depression, etc., because I have found that if someone hasn’t experienced it themselves, they really don’t understand. Heck, I don’t totally understand. My doctor, family and good friends know about my problems, but that’s about as far as it goes until now.

At the end of December, I FINALLY admitted to myself that I needed help. That in itself is a HUGE step when you are dealing with depression, anxiety and/or any kind of social phobia.

You are NOT crazy. You DO need help. These medical issues are not just something that you can “get over it”. It just doesn’t work that way. All of these are contributed to by neuro transmitters in your brain, at least that is what I am learning from talking with my doctor and research I have done.

Depression and such issues sneak up on you. I used to be a very social person who enjoyed going places and doing things. Over a long period of time I have progressively gotten to the point where not much of anything has any interest for me. I don’t have much motivation or energy to do anything either. I seldom leave my home. I HATE BEING THIS WAY!!

In December I started on Xanax for my anxiety. That has helped a LOT, with the anxiety. My doctor also started me on Paxil, which addresses the serotonin in your brain. At first it seemed like the Paxil was helping, but that only lasted for a week or two. Evidently, that isn’t my problem. So we are switching me to a new med starting on Friday. You have to wean down on the dose of the Paxil before switching or you can get some pretty nasty side effects.

I will stop for tonight and post more tomorrow. Otherwise this post will be way to long for anyone to want to read it. I will address some of the issues that I have been having, side effects from the drugs and other things as I go along. Thank you for listening.